WWE Monday Night Raw opens with Triple H coming out with Stephanie McMahon. They lost their jobs as The Authority last night at Survivor Series when Sting showed up for the first time in WWE history to cost them the match. Triple H said that people need to understand what they are getting because no one can handle the power that they held. He asked if Sting showed up so he could stand in the ring with Triple H to make his career relevant. He asked what fans will do when Raw no longer exists thanks to them not running the show anymore. Triple H said they are leaving now but they will beg them to come back.
DANIEL BRYAN IS HERE!!!!! He is in the ring gloating in front of Triple H. Daniel Bryan gets in Triple H’s face and chants YES and Triple H and Stephanie McMahon leave. He even follows them back up the aisle and keeps taunting them. Daniel Bryan gets power tonight to run Raw and he calls out Team Authority. Seth Rollins (with Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury), Kane, Luke Harper, Rusev (with Lana) and Mark Henry all come out.
First up, Daniel Bryan books Seth Rollins in a handicap match where John Cena and Dolph Ziggler in a 3-on-2 handicap match against Seth Rollins and two partners of the WWE Universe’s choice (the choices are (a) Mark Henry and Luke Harper, (b) Mark Henry and Kane, or (c) Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble. Up next is Kane (Daniel Bryan name drops Dr. Shelby) and he asks the crowd if Kane should be Director of Operations. They said no, so Bryan changed his position to Director of Food and Beverage.
Next is Rusev. He said that Rusev will either compete in a companywide battle royal with his U.S. title on the line or he will instead come down and recite the Pledge of Allegiance in front of a giant American flag. Next, he puts Luke Harper in a match where he will defend his Intercontinental title against Dean Ambrose. Finally, Bryan books Mark Henry in a match against Ryback, and that match is now. Henry heads for Bryan but Ryback attacks him from behind.
Mark Henry vs. Ryback
Ryback destroyed Henry before the match started and the referees separated them and prepared for the match to start. These two were the first wrestler’s eliminated from their respective teams last night in the Survivor Series main event. Ryback destroyed Henry and won with a Meathook Clothesline. This was a squash.
Winner: Ryback (Meathook Clothesline)
Backstage, Stephanie McMahon and Triple H are leaving and Vince McMahon is there. Stephanie apologizes for disappointing Vince. He tells them that he put insurmountable odds against them and expected them to succeed and they failed. Stephanie said she is sorry and Vince said that he has never been sorry for anything in his life, expect for the fact that he has to spend Thanksgiving with them. They all leave together. Ouch.
Intercontinental Championship: Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose
Last night, Bray Wyatt beat Dean Ambrose by disqualification when Ambrose hit Wyatt with a chair, more chairs, put Wyatt through a table and then stood on a ladder staring at him. The two will fight in a TLC match at the next pay-per-view. After a great long match, Harper took the cheap way out when he pushed Ambrose into the referee for the auto disqualification to keep his title. After the match, Ambrose threw a chair into the ring and then hit the Dirty Deeds DDT onto the chair. He was about to celebrate when the fans chanted “We want tables.” Ambrose threw a ladder and a table into the ring but then Bray Wyatt attacked him from out of nowhere and hit Sister Abigail’s Kiss on the floor. He then threw Ambrose over the announcer’s table and buried him under a ton of chairs in revenge for last night.
Winner: Dean Ambrose by DQ
Up next, Larry the Cable Guy and Santino Marella come out to promote their new movie Jingle All the Way 2. They make jokes.
Tag Team Championship: Miz and Mizdow vs. Goldust and Stardust
Miz has both world tag team titles while MIzdow has a pair of fake belts (stunt titles) as well. The Miz got hurt early in the match and Mizdow had to go alone. Finally, it actually looked like Mizdow was going to win this on his own, but Miz tagged himself in and hit the Skull Crushing Finale at the last minute. After the match, Mizdow had fun again when Miz raised his titles and fans yelled “BOO” and Mizdown raised his and they yelled “YAY.”
Winners: Miz and Mizdow (Skull Crushing Finale)
Backstage, Kane is working in concessions.
Rusev and Lana come out next and Lana said that this is not fair. Rusev said that he doesn’t care who is in charge of Raw but he won’t be brainwashed by Americans. Daniel Bryan is on the screen and said that they will have the battle royal if they don’t say the Pledge of Allegiance. Bryan sends out Sgt. Slaughter to supervise the Pledge of Allegiance. The American flag drops. Sgt. Slaughter starts to force the Pledge and Lana begins to repeat it. However, Rusev talks the mic from her, moves her out of the ring and then backs Sgt. Slaughter into a corner. Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter run out for the save and Swagger clears Rusev out. Together, Swagger, Colter and Slaughter say “We the People.” Ruxev didn’t say the Pledge and didn’t have to take part in the Battle Royal.
Justin Gabriel vs. Fandango
This is the re-introduction of Fandango to the WWE, with his new dance partner Rosa Mendes. There is no way this new music ever gets over like his old theme. Nothing like taking away the one thing that really put him over. Fandango is a lot better in the ring, since he is not acting goofy anymore but is instead very aggressive in the ring – but the fans never responded to the match at all, really hurting the presentation.
Winner: Fandango (Flying Leg Drop)
Big Show is out next and is all smiles in a suit. He is apparently looking forward to answering to turning on John Cena last night. He said that he hoped that the fans were cool with him after what happened last night. He asked for a Mulligan based on his career, but fans chanted “you sold out.” Big Show got angry then and changed his tune, saying that he hears what everyone says about him. He said if any cowards in the back want to say it to his face, come out and do it. Erick Rowan came out. Big Show is laughing and called it ridiculous. He makes fun of Rowan and tells him to leave before he gets hurt. Rowan said he doesn’t like bullies and then attacks Big Show, causing the giant to flee.
Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee
This is based on last night’s match where Brie Bella kissed AJ Lee to cause the loss. AJ Lee made fun of Nikki Bella for using the title as an accessory. She then said that Brie Bella was an even bigger skank than her sister. Nikki Bella interfered to help her sister win the match over Brie Bella. After the match, AJ Lee said that someone needs to tell the Bella Twins that talent is not sexually transmitted (it’s really funny when you consider that AJ Lee is married to CM Punk).
Winner: Brie Bella (Cradle)
Adam Rose and The Bunny vs. Tyson Kidd and Natalya
Larry the Cable Guy and Santino are at ringside for the match. The Bunny was dancing with Larry the Cable Guy, and that made Adam Rose mad. The Bunny accidentally grabbed Adam Rose’s foot and caused the loss to Tyson Kidd.
Winners: Tyson Kidd and Natalya (Cradle)
Backstage, Ryback is looking for a concession stand (which means he is looking for Kane). He finds him and asks for Tuna, a protein shake and beef jerky. Kane asks if he wants a hot dog, so Ryback pushes the counter against Kane and blasts him with ketchup and mustard before Kane runs. After this, John Cena and Dolph Ziggler are interviewed backstage.
John Cena and Dolph ZIggler vs. Seth Rollins, Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury
Ziggler and Cena are out first. Then, Daniel Bryan is out next and he calls out Seth Rollins. The voting is for Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble (93 percent) with over 310,000 votes cast. Noble and Mercury were made to look like jokes – this is sad. Ziggler and Cena got a pin at the same time as they hit their finishing moves on Mercury and Noble. After the match, Daniel Bryan runs in and throws Rollins back in where Cena hit the AA. As Bryan, Ziggler and Cena celebrate, the Raw Anonymous General Manager (remember him – wasn’t it Hornswoggle?), chimes in and Michael Cole reads the email that next week, order will be returned to Raw with Cyber Monday and the show ends with the General Manager chimes playing non-stop.
Winners: John Cena and Dolph Ziggler (Double Pin)