Sony animation has informed the world that they are gifting us a fully animated Smurfs movie in 2015. This would not be in connection with the live action/animation hybrid 80’s knock-offs that Azaria was in. Collider even used the word reboot. Reboot? Jesus wept. Is it not time to retire this damnable word? Did anyone call the Roger Moore Bond movies a reboot of the Connery Bond movies? Just grinds my gears.

Anyway, Sony has appointed Kelly Asbury to direct the new film that will be closer in style to the original Saturday morning cartoon than the other two films which have grossed almost Billion Dollars. Asbury directed Shrek 2 and Gnomeo & Juliet, plus more importantly worked as a storyboard artist on the well under appreciated The Rescuers Down Under.

Here’s what I don’t understand, why mess with a good thing? The animation in the 2011 & 2013 Smurfs movies was wonderful. The movies themselves were not my cup of tea. Seriously, all of us Smurfs fans who were getting up at 6am to watch Saturday morning cartoons never once asked the Smurfs to come to the real world, in fact! when they started introducing those 2 stupid kids we all kinda bowed out of the series entirely… (of course, I might have been too old for the show by then, but are you ever too old for cartoons? The short answer is No).

Are these the new Smurfs designs? Just kidding.

Are these the new Smurfs designs? Just kidding.

Why can’t Sony to make a Smurfs movie that is in the visual style of Smurfs take Manhatten, and Smurfs take Paris films? Maybe get a new cast. I love Jonathan Winters, but his charm is lost playing a fatherly figure, and I love Katy Perry (maybe a little too much) but her voice is not as sexy as the original Smurfette, and so on and son on. Note: Please keep Frank Welker as Azrael. Any Frank Welker is still never enough. I will take more Passive-Aggressive Smurf, though, best addition to the village (no really, I mean it).

Course, the movies are for kids and they certainly do a great job at entertaining the little mindless monkeys, but when I find some lady who will let me inflict myself on her and bring forth the brood of Cochrane’s who will slowly take over the world, I am going to instil in them a sense of story and culture. So- no more using the term reboot, no more human actors in Smurf movies, and while we’re at it, make a Gummi Bears movie.

James C.