Toby Keith and Rodney Carrington are two small town Oklahoma police deputies. The two live in a redneck, white trash town where every country stereotype lives. When a loved one is kidnapped by drug runners, the movie turns into a crazy chase movie similar to any given episode of The Dukes of Hazzard. Hell, it even has a Willie Nelson cameo.

The Lowdown

Beer for My Horses starts with a domestic squabble between two characters in a trailer park. The wife is cheating on her husband (you know because you see a guy running away in the background in his underwear). The husband is beating the hell out of a truck with everything he can get his hands on. The residents of this trailer park have gathered to watch the festivities when the police show up.

The police deputies are Rack (Toby Keith) and Lonnie (Rodney Carrington). They watch with humor as the two go back and forth until the wife finally throws a toaster and attacks her husband. The deputies separate the two and Rack is able to fix the problem by convincing the husband she wasn’t cheating on him and convincing her that the husband had special plans for her that weekend. The two make up and start to make out in front of their trailer. Oh yeah, the truck wasn’t the guy she was cheating with but a bad ass who can probably break the husband with one hand. As the officers leave the trailer park, Rack says “See ya’ll next week.”

Thank you Toby Keith for making Oklahoma look like the arm pit of America you arrogant jackass.

The script was co-written by country singer Toby Keith and comedian Rodney Carrington. Carrington is from Texas, now residing in Oklahoma and Keith’s house is about ten miles from my house outside Norman. They set the script on the Oklahoma/Texas state line. The least they could have done was shoot the movie in Oklahoma to help the film commission here but no, they had to shoot it in New Mexico and Las Vegas. Thanks again, Toby. I would assume the mixture of the two writers would produce a film that was a mixture of country mentality and comedy. It does have the stereotypical country mentality but the jokes are almost universally stupid.

How about the acting? Toby Keith sucks and Rodney Carrington is nowhere near as funny as his comedy CDs are. There are some good actors in the movie, such as the sheriff played by Tom Skerritt who does his best with the piss pour lines he is given. Ted Nugent is funny as a tough guy deputy. Gina Gershon makes an early appearance but doesn’t deliver a performance worth bragging about. In a surprise appearance is Curtis Armstrong who plays the district attorney. Yes, it is that Curtis Armstrong – Booger from Revenge of the Nerds.

The main plot of the film brings an old flame back to town played by Claire Forlani (Mallrats). She is kidnapped by a Mexican drug runner who wants his brother that Rack arrested released from jail and returned to Mexico. Rack is told he is not allowed to work the case because of his relationship with her. Rack and Lonnie defy orders and go to rescue her. Hijinks ensue.

That brings me to the direction of the picture. Michael Salomon is the latest music video director to jump into movies after working on both CMT as well as Metallica videos. Strange mixture but he did a competent job here. There is nothing coherently wrong with the direction of the picture. The script is bad (although, there was a fun scene at a carnie campsite) and the acting is not that good, but at least it looks good.

I will admit the point when Ted Nugent starts firing two semi-automatic machine guns into the air and Cat Scratch Fever starts to play, I laughed.

The Package

The Good and Bad of Mangum, Oklahoma (10:44) – This is a making of featurette that talks to just about everyone involved. It is a glad handed feature where everyone talks about how great everyone else was to work with on the film.

Songwriter to Screenwriter (10:25) – Toby Keith: “I have been a creative writer all my life.” He states it is easier to write a script than a song. Keith came up with the story and Carrington helped work out the dialogue. This is a decent little feature although it is still full of glad handing.

CMT on Set (06:01) – This is a promo on CMT about the shooting of the movie.

Blooper Reel (07:35) – This is a mixture of joking around, mishaps and lots of stuff with the dog.

Exclusive Video and Special Thanks from Ford Trucks and Toby (06:37) – Toby Keith shills Ford Trucks. This is a video that opens his shows, which proves Toby Keith will sell out and do anything if they give him a free truck every year. It is kind of funny.