Rambo III

Year: 1988
Peter MacDonald
Sylvester Stallone

The first was for himself. The second for his country. This time it’s to save his friend.”

If Rambo were sissy enough to have a Facebook page, under hobbies he’d put “stick fighting” while you have to put puzzles. That’s how we greet our hero in this entry, stick fighting a guy who looks like he bathes in Soul Glo. As always, Rambo is approached to do what other men cannot. But this time around, he declines. Then once the other guys fuck up, he’s ready to go. Plus, he’s looking to broaden his list of hobbies, as he hears Afghanistan is the capital of Dead Goat Toss.

Once in, Rambo heads to the fortress where Trautman is being held. He kills a pretty sweet amount of people, and is unable to rescue the Colonel due to the alarm being tripped, and Russians galore swarming the place. He heads out, blows up a ton of stuff, and gets back to safety. The next day, he figures that his only chance to get back in the base is climbing up the cliff on the other side. He’s able to get the drop on the bad-guys right before they blaze up Trautman with a flame thrower. Afterwards, they grab themselves a chopper, which is eventually shot down and they’re forced to head out on foot.

Ducking into a cave, Rambo starts taking out Russians one by one until all that’s left is the biggest of the biggest, but then he’s hung by a rope and blown up by a few grenades. Sure, that’d kill a bitch like him, but I bet Rambo has that for breakfast. Afterwards, they’re thinking that they’ve made it, home free, but of course the commies have a different idea as 200 or so of them show up with a few weapons. What follows is a few bullets, an explosion or two, and some guys getting hurt. Oh, and we find out what happens when a helicopter vs a tank. Personally, I’d like to see what happens when a tank vs Rambo. But we take what we can get.


Man Movie Encyclopedia Tally:

1-Liners: 4

Guys Beat Up: 5

Guys Killed: 89

Swear Words: 2

Boobs: None

Explosions: 123

Slow-Motion Scenes: 31

Car Chases: 1 [helicopter]

Chases on Foot: 1

Broken Bones: 2

Fight at a Motel? No

Guy Get Girl? No

Guy Smoke Cigarettes? No



Zaysen: Are you insane? One man against trained commandos… Who do you think this man is? God?

Trautman: No. God would have mercy. He won’t.


[Rambo barely escapes a napalm blast]

Trautman: That was close John, how are you?

Rambo: Well done.


[Trautman & Rambo find themselves face to face with a Russian army]

Colonel Trautman: What do we do?

Rambo: Well, surrounding them’s out of the question.


Zaysen: Drop your weapons! Now! You have no chance of escape! Come forward! I wish to take you back alive! This is your last warning! The choice is yours!

Colonel Trautman: What do you say, John?

Rambo: *cocks his grenade launcher* Fuck’em.



At the time of release, this was the most expensive film ever made.

The scene where Trautman talks with Rambo inside the temple, is in fact an actual temple that was going through a remodel. Most of the monks you see were actual monks who were paid to be extras. I suppose that’s an easier way to make money as opposed to stick fighting.

Made the 1990 Guinness Book of World Records as the most violent film. According to that, they claim 109 deaths, but that’s pretty much malarky.


Box-Office Business:

Created on a mighty budget of $63 million, it was released on May 25th, 1988, in 2,562 theaters, and distributed by TriStar Pictures. It opened up at #2 [behind Crocodile Dundee II, what the fuck, people?], with a weekend total of $13,034,238. In the end, it brought in $189,015,611.


C’mon Bennet, Let’s Party:

Rambo III is sort of the black sheep of the group. Not in the sense that people don’t like it, but that no one seems to have seen it. Everyone knows First Blood, and First Blood Part II, but Rambo III is often left in the dust. It deserves to be seen, because if you like Part II, you’ll love Rambo III, as it’s exactly the same, but it in sand instead of the jungle. As you see up above, the over-view isn’t very long, because the whole film is seriously just action. Once Rambo arrives, he plays the Dead Goat Game, and then it’s nothing but gun fire & explosions. It’s a great film that has all that we love about Rambo, and then some, as he gets into the one-liner game in this film, and does it well. Plus, we get to see Colonel Trautman in on the action, and it’s cool to see him and Rambo back in the shit.

4 ½ Head-Butts Out Of 5