3 Million to burn

Red goes to Cameroon to talk to a man that knew Berlin. Red wants the man to tell him who Berlin has hired to track him down. Red incentives this by laying out $3 million – $3 million that Red is set to burn within three seconds. Mr. Warlord, not taking too kindly to threats, orders one of his kid soldiers to kill Red. Red, always being one up on everyone, has a hell-fire missile launched towards the campground he is on. The missile takes out a few of the soldiers. The man tells Red it’s someone named Prince or Lord, and Red figures out its Lord Baltimore. Not the same Lord Baltimore elementary school that I went to. Apparently this Lord Baltimore is a chick.

In news that doesn’t matter

The interim deputy director that is in charge while Cooper is rehabbing is sorta pissed Red burned the $3 million. She also wants to talk to Red. Ressler tells her that no one but Lizzie talks to Red. This is the last time we see this interim person.

The most dangerous person in the world is in Washington D.C. Lizzie. Guess what “WE” have to do…

Hopefully by now you know that Red has already briefed Lizzie that “The most dangerous person in the world is in Washington D.C.” I also hope you liked that headline because it’s going to be the same one I write every week, as the pilot to this show never changes. What does change is how Aram cracks the case in about five minutes (Spoiler alert). But stupidity and a personality disorder keeps the pilot going for about 45 minutes. Aram has heard of Lord Baltimore. He is a famous data miner known the world over in hacking circles. He is known to track down his target by using their Internet presence, which doesn’t sound complicated, except when you search for a person that uses Netflix instead of Amazon and has an online subscription to cat mags, it makes it just weird. What would possibly be weirder is if someone used Amazon Prime preferable to Netflix.

Aram has been searching for any irregularities at top data firms. Meaning anyone with an influx of cash and jackpot one name comes up. Rowan Mills (Krysten Ritter) who received 250K in her IRA. But like a good little child alerted the proper people and changed her passwords. After her chat with Lizzie and Ressler. A mysterious person calls her and tells her if she talks to the feds again she will be killed. Now Rowan is either a model citizen or a chick with a death wish because she calls Lizzie and Ressler and basically sends a message to her mystery caller to come kill her now.

So Aram is now playing the part of Malik, who also dearly misses Malik. He traces the call back to an apartment that is in Rowan’s name. The crib has Rowan’s pictures and other items that can’t possible be explained by a do-gooder like Rowan – unless she has a creepy self-loathing molested twin sister named Nora, who is conveniently now dead. Now one of Rowan’s or Nora’s neighbors is a strange looking man. This man in the previous scene reported back to Berlin that they have found Red. The man explains that the price has gone up because the feds are now involved. So one-handed Berlin, while sitting in a tub of ice, bangs this guy’s head across the tub, which could mean that there is no deal and that he better take care of Red for the original price unless he wants to be in his own tub of ice soon.

So about Nora, maybe she’s not dead?

Rowan explains, badly, how all of this is one big mix up and see has never saw nor stepped a foot in this apartment. Rowan explains that she totally has a twin. Totally had a twin. Lizzie and Ressler go and check with Rowan’s mother about the fact that Rowan had a twin sister that didn’t have a matching name. She shows Lizzie and Ressler pictures of the girls and tells how no one believed that Nora was molested. Not her, nor Rowan. Their mother also conveniently tells them how Nora got a great job doing some super sweet data like stuff that could have cured her if she wasn’t killed by an I.E.D. oversees. Lizzie and Ressler confirm this with Nora’s old boss who also tells them that Nora is totally dead, however they sorta never really found a body.

Too late who care Berlin strikes

Red checks into a hotel under one of his aliases and the concierge tells Red that all of his favorite stuff is in his favorite room. Red tells Dembe to put some more men out in the lobby. A chopper comes down and captures Red. This is the shortest hostage taking in the world because Red tells the woman (Lord Baltimore??) that whoever she just called to tell her that she has her target will be freeing him within in the hour. After the commercial break, Red is freed by Agent Maring. Somewhere within that hour Aram figured out that Lord Baltimore wasn’t looking for Red. He was looking for Mary-Louise Parker, who conveniently is Naomi Hyland, whom is Red’s ex wife, which Red knows is in witness protection – and her name – even though she in in witness protection from him.

Sorry you’re life is in danger time for you to go home alone.

-Signed the FBI

Being that Rowan’s story checks out, Lizzie lets her go free. Rowan having a crazy twin sister back from the dead doesn’t matter to the FBI, because they send her home without any protection, a tail, a safety whistle, or anything, being that she has been set up and had a death threat made against her within the last 12 hours. Marcus, Rowan’s weird neighbor, comes into to her apartment and wants to play a record for her. Him having a record and she having a record player makes this strange enough.

Marcus waits for Rowan to recall this song. Instead of screaming and running out of her apartment, she says no, get out, what are you talking about. Rowan then awakens from her trance. She asks Marcus, “How long was I out?” Nora/Rowan and Marcus run out to a van, yell at a few of their subordinates, and load up and gun up. They go in to capture Naomi Hyland, who is not ready to run from Red, again. Nora snipes every officer assigned to her (Naomi) protection. Marcus and his goons go in to capture Naomi. Lizzie and Ressler are there but Naomi still gets taken. Lizzie chases Nora down the street and apprehends her and calls Red.

Still too late Berlin strikes again

Lord “Nora” Baltimore’s work is done. Marcus cut a deal with Lizzie and told her Nora’s trigger and that’s that. Berlin still has Naomi and sends Red to a room on Benning road to find a locket with a picture of Naomi inside it. This picture is one that Berlin’s hand took. That was a joke because if you recall Berlin has one hand. He now has a shiny new hook were his left hand was. Berlin sends a package to Red which has in it a cell phone. Red calls Berlin. Berlin tells Red that he intends to send his wife back the same way that Red send Berlin’s daughter to him, piece by piece. Red opens the box. Inside the package he finds a finger in it.

And Cooper comes back YAY!!!


After all of my jokes, I thought this was an excellent start to The Blacklist. Once again, the whole Lord Baltimore thing was a character that I would have loved to see Krysten Ritter play out over an episode or two. As far as Red’s wife, I swore that Red told a story where his family was killed on Christmas Day. But maybe thats the way that a successful witness protection works. You don’t look for dead people.