There are presents all over the WWE Monday Night Raw stage to celebrate Hulk Hogan’s birthday, but the show opens with Brock Lesnar’s music and the Beast walks out with Paul Heyman to open the show. Lesnar’s shirt now says “Eat Sleep Conquer John Cena.” Heyman talks about how Brock Lesnar took out Undertaker, The Rock, Hulk Hogan for long periods of time and John Cena is next. Heyman then mocks Cena by delivering a spoken word rap about what Lesnar is going to do to Cena and then says that this is now Brock Lesnar’s house.
Flo Rida and Weird Al Yankovick wish Hulk Hogan a Happy Birthday via recordings.
Roman Reigns gets a handicap match
Roman Reigns is out next for the opening match of WWE Monday Night Raw. Corporate Kane is out next (yes, in a suit as the Director of Operations). He books a handicap match and brings out Rybaxel to face Reigns. The match was pretty decent but had a screwed up ending. Rybaxel tossed Roman Reigns into the steel ring post and the referee disqualified the team. That happens in matches all the time with no disqualification and the WWE really needs to do a better job of being more consistent. Roman Reigns fights back and ends up hitting the Superman Punch on both men and then two spears as fans chanted “Spear Spear Spear.” It was a hot ending, but still a bad match decision.
Renee Young interviews Roman Reigns after the match. Reigns actually talks. He said that he is ready for his match against Randy Orton on Sunday. He said that he never stole anything from Orton, but Sunday at Summerslam, he will take everything from Randy Orton. He then said that a viper who gets its fangs kicked down its throat is just a worthless worm. Believe in that. Backstage, Randy Orton has words about Roman Reigns with Corporate Kane and then Kane says that Orton needs to be ready for Sunday and will fight Sheamus tonight.
Rob Van Dam is out next for his first WWE Monday Night Raw match since he was injured a few weeks back. Last week, he was supposed to fight Seth Rollins and that match will finally take place this week. This was a strange match for Rollins. Honestly, RVD dominated the entire match except for one point where RVD missed a leg drop onto the barricade. However, after RVD missed a monkey flip and landed on his head, Rollins hit the Curb Stomp and won with the one move.
After the match, at the top of the ramp, Seth Rollins turned and looked at the presents there for Hulk Hogan. There was one that was very big and Rollins was scared that Dean Ambrose might be in the box. He finally realized that he was being silly UNTIL Dean Ambrose burst out of the box and attacked Rollins. He beat him all the way to the ring and then chased him off. Ambrose took the mic and said that Rollins ass is his and that this Sunday, for $9.95, he will get more than his money’s worth.
Stephanie McMahon reveals a dark secret to Brie Bella
Stephanie McMahon comes out next and talks about how it is her responsibility to care for her employees. Stephanie McMahon then calls out Megan Miller, who is Bryan’s physical therapist. Megan said that she really likes Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella and her and her boyfriend has had dinner with them often. Megan then said her boyfriend left her and she can’t be Bryan’s physical therapist anymore because she had an affair with Daniel Bryan. The fans are hating this. Stephanie hugged her and said she was sorry. That brought out Brie Bella. McMahon then tries to stoke the fire between the two. Brie Bella slaps Megan and then attacks Stephanie McMahon. Brie Bella locks Stephanie McMahon in the YES Lock. McMahon said that they won’t wait till Summerslam and they will finish this on WWE Monday Night Raw tonight. With Bella slapping Miller, it is clear what the WWE is going to do later tonight.
Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers and AJ Hawk are the next video birthday wishes for Hulk Hogan.
Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter are out next. His opponent is his former Real Americans partner Cesaro, who doesn’t even get an entrance. This was actually a pretty good match with a creative ending. Cesaro went up to the top buckle but Swagger ran up the buckles and tossed Cesaro into the ring while holding onto the ankle and locking in the Patriot Lock for the win. After the match, Zeb Colter cut a promo and began to chant “We the People” but Rusev’s pyro interrupted them as his flag dropped over the ring.
Chris Jericho and Bray Wyatt sit down for a face-to-face
Up next is a face-to-face interview between Bray Wyatt and Chris Jericho. Michael Cole was supposed to host it, but Bray told him to leave. Bray mentioned that Jericho was always a scared little boy who wanted to live up to his father’s expectations, and failed. This was Bray’s way of saying that he knows everything about Jericho but Y2J knows nothing about him. Bray said that Jericho wants to be a savior while Wyatt doesn’t care about being a savior but wants to help those who can’t help themselves. Wyatt says he is not sorry for anyone he hurt and has no conscious. Wyatt hates everything the world created including himself. Jericho said that he is not a savior, but is a survivor and can’t promise what Chris Jericho will show up for Summerslam, but he will follow the buzzards and shove them down Wyatt’s throat, shutting him up for good.
AJ Lee is out next for her match. Her opponent is Eva Marie. Luckily, we don’t have to see much of Eva Marie because Paige’s music kicks off and Paige skips down to the ring, mocking AJ Lee. Eva Marie wraps up AJ Lee in a cradle and wins thanks to the distraction. Paige claims she was there to support AJ Lee. Paige then stands on the ramp and gives AJ Lee a nursery styled rhyme for AJ Lee. After Paige left, AJ Lee DESTROYED Eva Marie outside of the ring.
John Cena is out and it is time for him to refute Brock Lesnar. Cena said he won’t lie down for Brock Lesnar because he doesn’t like Brock Lesnar. He talks about the fans who cheer and boo him and said that fans want to know when he will turn. He said that this Sunday at Summerslam, he will turn and unleash something fans want to see. Of course, he said the same thing in his feud with Bray Wyatt. Cena said that if this is Brock Lesnar’s house, there is a stranger in the house and he can try to kick him out. He actually got the majority of the fans to start cheering him. That was actually a really good Cena promo.
Florida Georgia Line and Larry King are the next to send out their birthday wishes to Hulk Hogan.
Brie Bella is out next for her match with Stephanie McMahon, and if she isn’t arrested here for slapping Miller earlier in the show, I will be surprised. McMahon is out and is dressed in no way to wrestle because the police come out and arrest Brie Bella. Stephanie McMahon loves this. McMahon said that what goes around, comes around.
The Miz is out next to do color commentary. Heath Slater is in the ring and will face Dolph Ziggler. The Miz had a great line when he said that Cleveland has only three stars – LeBron James, Johnny Manziel and The Miz and The Miz is the only one who brought a title to Cleveland. Miz also brought up how Michael Cole used to be his biggest supporter and asked what happened. Ziggler hit the Zig Zag, but The Miz distracted him. Ziggler beat the hell out of The Miz and Heath Slater won by countout – HEATH SLATER HAS WON 2 MATCHES IN A ROW on WWE Monday Night Raw. Ziggler went in to shake Slater’s hand but Slater tried a sucker punch and Ziggler hit the Zig Zag again and celebrated.
Orton vs. Sheamus
Randy Orton and Sheamus are out next for their big match. Now that was a really, really good match, which is no surprise since these two know each other as well as they do. The end was beautiful as Sheamus was coming off the buckle with a flying shoulder but Randy Orton connected with an RKO as Sheamus was flying through the air. Orton was so pleased that he posed with a big smile on his face before pinning Sheamus.
The Hulk Hogan Birthday Celebration
Mean Gene Okerlund and The Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart are in the ring and Oklerlund introduces Hogan. The WWE roster is on the main stage clapping for Hulk Hogan as he comes down to the ring. First up is a tribute video for Hulk Hogan to the Bob Dylan song “Forever Young.” The crowd is going nuts for this. Hogan says he is speechless. We get the classic, “Let me tell you something Mean Gene!”
“The Nature Boy” Ric Flair is the first special guest out. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff is out next wearing his classic robe on. Rowdy Roddy Piper is out next and he is glaring into the ring. This is awesome. The nWo music kicks in and Kevin Nash and Scott Hall make their way out to the ring. Kevin Nash takes the mic first but he gives it to Scott Hall instead. “Hey Yo!” He takes a survey on what fans like better – the red and yellow or black and white. The black and white wins so Hogan rips off his shirt to show an nWo shirt. “Another one for the good guys.” Kevin Nash starts to sing happy birthday and Brock Lesnar is out!
Lesnar shoulders Piper and tries to make Flair flinch. Hulk Hogan steps up. Heyman: “Whatcha gonna do Hulkster?” Lesnar: “Party is over grandpa.” John Cena finally runs in. Brock Lesnar just smirks and leaves.
Full WWE Monday Night Raw Results
- Roman Reigns def. Rybaxel by DQ
- Seth Rollins def. Rob Van Dam
- Jack Swagger def. Cesaro
- Eva Marie def. AJ Lee
- Heath Slater def. Dolph Ziggler by countout
- Randy Orton def. Sheamus
