Triple H comes out as the COO to open this week’s WWE Monday Night Raw. The WWE posted today that Triple H was going to name John Cena’s WWE World Heavyweight Championship challenger for Summerslam tonight. Triple H said that he was very mad, but he has options. He then makes jokes saying he will tweet about how mad he is. He said he will make threats and if things don’t go his way, he’ll just stop watching the WWE. He is making fun of wrestling fans now.
He then threatens to fire everybody. Or, he will just relax because he always wins. He then guarantees that John Cena won’t be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion after Summerslam. He said that he wants to know who will get that title match and Randy Orton came out. Orton said he wants his one-on-one rematch that he was owed. He then guaranteed that he would beat John Cena at Summerslam. Triple H said that everybody will get an opportunity to convince Triple H that they deserve the title shot and he wants someone to impress him. Orton blames Kane for not winning last night and Kane comes out.
Kane said that he hopes he is being considered to face John Cena because he knows that he can bring the title back to The Authority. He said that he just needs to not be acting as Randy Orton’s protector and he is tired of babysitting. Roman Reigns is out next. Reigns said that if they are considering a challenger, his name should be included and no one wants to see Kane or Randy Orton fight John Cena again. Roman Reigns then Superman punches Kane and Randy Orton runs. That leads to the opening match.
Handicap Match: Roman Reigns vs. Kane and Randy Orton
Roman Reigns looked very dominant in this match. The end came when Kane tried to tag out to Randy Orton, but Orton refused to take the tag and Kane turned into the Superman punch and the spear. After Reigns beat Kane, Orton started to walk off. He turned and looked like he would return to face off with Reigns but then left the ring, seemingly in cautious fear of Reings.
Winner: Roman Reigns (**)
Handicap Match: Nikki Bella vs. Alicia Fox and Cameron and Rosa Mendes and Eva Marie
Before the match started, Stephanie McMahon met the four Divas backstage and told them to go out and annihilate Nikki Bella and also teach Brie Bella a lesson. Brie Bella is in the front row at ringside, so that brings out Stephanie McMahon. She walked up and started talking down to Brie Bella (and threw in a jab at Daniel Bryan as well). When Stephanie McMahon turned to walk off, Brie Bella called her a bitch. She called security but Brie Bella called her a bitch and showed her a ticket. Stephanie McMahon then slapped Bella and had her thrown out (which means that McMahon just slapped a paying customer). She then started the match and Nikki Bella was squshed. Stephanie McMahon said she wants Nikki Bella to quit as well.
Winners: Alicia Fox and Cameron and Rosa Mendes and Eva Marie (*)
Bo Dallas vs. Damien Sandow
Damien Sandow came out dressed as LeBron James (they are in Miami) and he has he Miami marked out with Cleveland on it instead. Sandow said that if Bo Dallas was smart, he would leave Miami now. The fans are chanting “let’s go Heat.” Bo Dallas pretty much squashed Damien Sandow.
Winner: Bo Dallas (*)
The Highlight Reel
Chris Jericho is supposed to interview Bray Wyatt on the Highlight Reel, but something happened during the break (people saw it on the WWE App). Jericho was being interviewed and Bray Wyatt attacked him and hit Sister Abigail’s Kiss, driving Jericho’s head into the lockers. Wyatt has the mic and said that Y2J won’t be there because he is indisposed. They then showed the highlights of the attack. Wyatt said his loss last night meant nothing because wins and losses don’t matter to him. He cut a great promo, but Jericho never came out because he was down the entire time in the back.
The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
The Miz has a new intro before his music starts which is pretty cool. The Miz’s gimmick in this match is kind of amusing as he does everything to protect his face, even if it means taking damage to another part of his body instead. That actually is what led to The Miz losing. The match was fantastic. Ziggler got out of the figure four by reaching the ropes and The Miz kicked out of the Fameasser. However, Ziggler went for the superkick and Miz turned to cover his face and Ziggler hit the Zig Zag for the win. Despite losing, The Miz asked for his name to be called as still the IC champion.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler (***)
Triple H is backstage and tells Seth Rollins that he doesn’t need to fight John Cena at Summerslam because he has the Money in the Bank briefcase. However, Cesaro walks in to Triple H’s office and said he wants to face John Cena at Summerslam for the title. He said that he is no longer a Paul Heyman guy but he wants to be Triple H’s guy. Seth Rollins said that Triple H already has a guy, but Triple H books Cesaro to fight Dean Ambrose tonight and if he can beat Ambrose, he might consider Cesaro for the Summerslam main event.
Paige and AJ Lee vs. Natalya and Emma
This is still part of the AJ Lee and Paige “Frenemies” stage and this is also Emma’s first appearance since her arrest a few weeks back. Fans start chanting “CM Punk.” Natalya had Paige in the sharpshooter, but AJ Lee tagged herself in, locked in the Black Widow and made Natalya tap out. After the match, they celebrated the win but then AJ Lee went out and got her title and skipped around the ring celebrating. She went back in and Paige hugged her. The Paige attacked. She laid out AJ Lee. She then threw her out of the ring and tossed her face first into the barricade. She then tossed her head first into the steel ring post. She finished off by tossing AJ Lee over the announcer’s table and then said this was her house and skipped off, mocking AJ Lee.
Winners: AJ Lee and Paige (**)
Fandango vs. Zack Ryder
Summer Rae and Layla came out with Zack Ryder (they came out with Adam Rose last night on the WWE Battleground Kickoff match. Zack Ryder actually won a match!!!! He hit the Rough Rider, and Fandango still got his foot on the bottom rope only for Layla to knock the foot off. It made Ryder look bad since his finishing move couldn’t even beat Fandango fairly, but Zack Ryder actually won.
Winner: Zack Ryder (**)
Backstage, Renee is interviewing Flo Rida. Heath Slater asks if he remembers him and Flo Rida said he doesn’t. Heath Slater reminds him that he put his hands on him at Wrestlemania 28 and he is here to return the favor. He pushes Flo Rida but Flo Rida shoves him and Heath Slater falls into equipment. Stephanie McMahon is in the ring and introduces Flo Rida and he performs two songs. Then, something brilliant happened. The police showed up and arrested Stephanie McMahon for battery against Brie Bella. She said she has a lot of power and would have their jobs. She claimed self defense and started crying and said she was scared and asked Hunter to help her. Triple H claimed these are career decisions to arrest her but they didn’t care and took her to jail. This gets FIVE STARS on its own. Finally, something makes 100% sense in the real world.
Triple H is talking to Joey Mercury and Joey asks who will fight John Cena at Summerslam. Triple H said family comes first but then pauses and mentions that she will have to be processed, so he has time to stick around and make his decision.
Big E and Kofi Kingston vs. Rybaxel
It looked like this was going to be a spot where they developed Big E and Kofi Kingston into a legitimate tag team. However, Rybaxel didn’t just win but they won cleanly when Ryback caught Kofi after a body press and wrapped him up for the pin. After the match, Xavier Woods came out in a white suit with glasses on and said he has been saying that you can’t get ahead in the WWE by shaking hands and dancing like a puppet. He said they no longer ask, now they take what they want. Kofi Kingston and Big E agreed with him and it looks like we have a new faction.
Winners: Rybaxel (* ½)
Rusev w/Lana vs. Great Khali
Lana took the mic and started to talk but Great Khali’s music cut her off. This match kind of sucked because Khali sucks. Rusev knocked Khali down with a kick, hit another kick and then locked in the Accolade for the win.
Winner: Rusev (1/2 *)
Goldust and Stardust promo.
Dean Ambrose vs. Cesaro
Dean Ambrose’s entrance music is awesome. This match was, as expected from these two men, an amazing match. Cesaro and Ambrose both looked like a million bucks. The end came when Dean Ambrose just grabbed a chair and blasted Cesaro with it before asking if that was all Cesaro had.
Winner: Cesaro by DQ (***)
Triple H is in the ring and he doesn’t even pause. He announces that John Cena’s opponent for Summerslam is … Randy Orton’s music starts playing and Orton comes to the ring. Roman Reigns attacks Randy Orton before he gets to the ring and tosses him into the audience, gives chase and starts beating the hell out of Orton. That leaves Triple H in the ring alone. Paul Heyman then comes out and the fans start cheering. Heyman said Plan A is not working as long as Roman Reigns is there. Heyman then said Plan B is great but Dean Ambrose won’t allow Seth Rollins to win it right now. Heyman then asks if Triple H will implement Plan C.
Brock Lesnar then comes out. Last time Brock Lesnar came out to surprise Triple H, he broke his arm. This time should be different. Triple H then smiles and shakes both Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar’s hands. Heyman then reminds everyone that Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania and next he will conquer John Cena and that the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Summerslam.
Heyman then showed the highlights from Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker from Wrestlemania 30. Heyman then reminded the audience that Vince McMahon rode to the hospital with Undertaker because the beating was so bad and the same beating will await John Cena. Heyman cut a long, and great, promo to end the show.by