Current WCW Champions:
World Heavyweight: “Macho Man” Randy Savage
United States: Kensuki Sasaki
Television: Johnny B. Badd
Tag-Team: Harlem Heat
Emanating from Phoenix, AZ with your hosts Mongo, Bischoff, and The Brian.
The American Males vs Harlem Heat © – WCW Tag-Team Championship
They’re putting on a decent match, however the bookers feel we’re more concerned with the going-ons of Sister Sherri & Robert Parker. He comes down to give her a present, and both the camera man & announce team are very into it. Seriously, was there ONE person who was tuning into Nitro thinking “Oh, I have to know what’s going on with The Col and Sherri otherwise I’m going to kill my whole family”, because I truly doubt there was. Other than that obnoxiousness, Heat & AM go on to have another good match. Despite a few sloppy moves & transitions here and there, these guys have a strange chemistry with one another that works very well. This one ends when Stevie Ray hits Riggs with the Harlem Hangover.
Riggs eats the Hangover at 7:46 | **3/4
Mean Gene is out for an interview, with Stinger telling Lex that he believes he’ll beat Macho tonight for the title, and when Sting wins the triangle match at Starrcade, he’ll get his shot at the title, which means he’ll have a shot at Luger, and he won’t hold back.
Sting vs Kurasawa
Kurasawa works Stinger’s arm for a bit before he hits a comeback and slaps on the Deathlock. I tell you, as far as these Nitros are concerned, Sting’s matches are boring as a motherfu**er. No joke, I think he’s even more boring & predictable than Hogan.
Kurasawa taps out to the Deathlock at 2:38 | *
Scott Norton vs The Giant
Giant pretty much kicks the crap outta Norton, although he does get his moment when he gets him up in the air for an atomic drop. Something he milks for all it’s worth by holding him up there for a good while. A few eye rakes later, and he attempts a top-rope cross-body-block only to be caught in a chokeslam.
Norton is taken down with a chokeslam at 2:26 | *
Flair comes out with Charles Barkley, who might I add looks…I mean…OK, you know the Jackass stunt where they wrap themselves in bubble wrap and then put on size 50 jeans and XXXXL shirts? It looks like Barkley is doing that with his pants, it’s really weird. Like his ass is pregnant or something. I can’t get over it, it’s really f’ning odd. Not much is said, they both think each other are the cat’s pajamas. I made the photo a little bigger than usual so you guys can see just what the hell I’m talking about.
Clearly Bobby didn’t get the memo about dressing like a fucking idiot. Seriously, what kind of jacket is Bischoff wearing? It looks like something you’d be forced to wear if you were in prison, and the state of New Mexico were in prison too, and you were New Mexico’s bitch.
Lex Luger vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage © – WCW World Heavyweight Championship
Savage’s first thought is payback, as he spends the first half of the match trying to break Luger’s arm. Soon Luger gets the match back in his favor, and ramps up the match by trying to break Macho’s arm. Seriously, this entire match has been nothing but people trying to figure out ways to break & put stress on arms. The ref gets knocked out, which brings out Flair to KO Macho with the international object. Hogan isn’t digging this, so he comes out to deal with Flair & help Macho. However, at one point he’s about to slug Lex Luger and ends up hitting Stinger. The ref throws the match out, and now we get an interview. This wasn’t a terrible match, but there wasn’t much to it. One thing I can say about Nitro, is they more than often deliver in terms of time length with their main events.
The match is thrown out at 13:59 | **
The interview is the same stuff they’ve been saying since Nitro started. Why is it Sting can trust Luger? Well, Sting has questioned people before, but he always ends up trusting them, because his character is an idiot, so why can’t they just trust him about Luger? We learn that next week it’s Hogan & Sting vs Flair & Arn. That’s a pretty big deal to just throw on Nitro.
This week falls into the average category again. Pretty good opening tag match, with two squashes and a better-than-it-should-have-been main event. Again, I have to give credit to Nitro for never ducking out on the main event. So many times on Raw you’re promised a big main event, and you get maybe 30 seconds before some BS finish. But they always give you time. At least they did during this reign of Nitro. Also, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I miss Schivaone. He really was the voice of WCW. Alright, see you chickapees next week for the big tag-match.