A girl runs, hunted through the forest by Ramsay Snow, Myranda, Theon Greyjoy and Ramsay’s dogs. Myranda strikes the girl down, and they feed her to the hounds. Theon, now emotionally broken watches and shakes.
Tyrion and Jaime Lannister sit together at a table, Tyrion laments over Jaime not eating. Jaime struggles to adjust to his new gold gilded hand. He tells Tyrion that he can’t fight anymore. Tyrion tells him to train with his other hand, and that he knows the proper discreet swordsman to teach him. Jaime meets the swordsman at the seaside to be taught.
Ramsay Snow welcomes his father and his new bride home. After his Wife is sent to be settled, Ramsay presents Theon to his Father. He is angry that Ramsay has flayed and broken him, and renamed him ‘Reek’. He tells him that Robb Stark is dead, and that his Father was the one that killed him. His Father sends out men to find the living stark boys. Theon tells him that Jon Snow is at Castle Black, he sends Ramsay out with them to Castle Black to see if Jon knows where they are.
Tyrion steals words with Varys, who tells Tyrion that his Sister knows about Shae, and it will soon get back to Tywin, through Cersei. Varys refuses to lie for Tyrion, he offers to have her sent away to safety, but Tyrion says she will not go.
The Lannisters and the Tyrell’s have a pre-wedding lunch. Shae serves, as Cersei points out to Tywin that she is the whore that Tyrion is sleeping with. Tyrion presents The Book of 4 Kings to Joffrey. Joffrey uncharacteristically accepts the gift gracefully. He is also presented with swords of Valyrian steel, he looks bright eyed at them, rounds the table to pick one up and proceeds to hack the book to bits in front of the guests. He calls for help in naming the sword, and settles on Widow’s Wail. The table is left in stunned silence.
Later, shae sneaks into Tyrion’s chamber. He refuses her, and says their ‘friendship’ can’t continue. He tells her that there is a ship waiting for her, ready to take her to her own estate and comfort. She refuses to fear his family, he tries to deter her by calling her a whore, telling her that she is unfit to bear his children. She cries as Bron comes to escort her to the ship. She slaps Bron across the face and storms out. Tyrion smacks a cup from the table in anger at what he has had to do.
Melisandre (The Red Woman) prays to the dark lord to accept the offering she has prepared for him, 3 men bound and being burned at the stake, while her priests stoke the fires. They call out, begging their loved ones to save them as they are consumed. Lord Davos Seaworth tries to be the voice of reason, but it falls on deaf ears.
Melisandre sits at the table with Stannis and his wife Selyse, who complains about her hunger and his Daughter Shireen. She suggests the Red Woman speak to her.
Melisandre then goes to talk to the Princess, she tells her that she should be happy for those that died, they are now cleansed. Shireen isn’t convinced. Melisandre tells her that there are no seven heavens or hells. Only one hell, the one they live in now.
Hodor wakes Bran from a warging trance. They tell him he needs to eat, that eating in trance wont sustain him. To stay in another’s body too long is dangerous, to stay too long would make him forget who he is. They then move through the snow, seeing the wolf that he was in. Bran tells Hodor to take him to the tree the wolf stood in front of, there is a face carved into the bark. When he touches the face he sees a 3 eyed raven. He sees the past, his Father, and a voice who tells him to go north.
The next scene we enter onto Joffreys wedding to Margaery Tyrell. As he kisses her, Sansa is the only one that doesn’t seem happy. She says, “We have a new Queen.” to Tyrion. He replies, “Better her than you.”
At the feast following, Tyrion asks Bron if he is sure that Shae is safe, and he is assured it is so. Joffrey, bored with the musicians throws coins at them and shoos them off. Margaery then asks that they share their announcement, and Joffrey agrees. They announce that the left overs from the feast are to be given to the poorest in their city. Sir Loras makes eyes at Oberyn, then accidentally bumps into Jaime. He warns Loras that if he marries Cersei, she would murder him in his sleep, that he will never marry her. Loras replies, “And neither will you.” patting Jaime and walking away.
Lady Brienne comes and gives her congratulations to Joffrey and Margaery, then is stopped by Cersei. Cersei offers her gratitude for returning Jaime to King’s Landing. Brienne says that Jaime rescued her, Cersei replies that she hadn’t heard that story. Cersei accuses Brienne of loving Jaime, Brienne is overtly shaken by the remark and excuses herself. Cersei then orders that all the food from the feast be sent to feed the dogs, behind Margeary’s back.
Cersei then speaks rudely to Oberyn and his consort. Tywin, Cersei and Oberyn exchange backhanded remarks. Joffrey then orders the merriment to stop, and tells everyone that it is time to contemplate their history. A mocking spectacle, ‘War of 5 Kings’ starts for their amusement, with dwarves as the Kings. Tyrion and Sansa are not amused, as are not many in attendance, though Joffrey is laughing hysterically. He asks if Tyrion dares challenge his reign, after the farce of Kings is over. Tyrion says that one battle is enough, he would like to keep what remains of his face.
He says that he thinks Joffrey should fight the winner, that it was but a poor imitation of Joffrey’s bravery on the field of battle, that he speaks as a first hand witness. All are silent as Joffrey is insulted, he then walks to Tyrion and pours wine over his head. Margaery asks Joffrey to return to her side so her Father can make his toast. Joffrey insists that Tyrion be his cup bearer, kicking the cup away as Tyrion tries to reach for it. Sansa then retrieves the cup and hands it to Tyrion. Joffrey demand he fill it, then that Tyrion kneel before his King. Tyrion stares in his face and does not kneel.
Margaery then breaks the tension by declaring the wedding pie has arrived! Joffrey uses his sword to hack open the pie, and doves fly out. Margaery feeds him a piece, Joffrey then stops and orders Tyrion to get his wine, that he and Sansa must stay. Joffrey then starts to choke. the Queen of Thorns calls for someone to help him, they finally run to him, Joffrey chokes to death in Cersei’s arms. His last act is to reach towards his uncle Tyrion who holds the cup he drank from. Cersei says, “He did this, he poisoned my son, your King…take him…TAKE HIM, TAKE HIM!!!” Fade to black
Finally! How I love a good piece of pie, at least in the mouth of a nasty little King. (If only King for an hour.) I have been waiting for this moment with baited breath. So was it good for you? Jack Gleeson has stated that he will no longer act after this episode/his character Joffrey is dead. This is truly sad, it’s a sign of a great actor to make so many people feel anything for a character, and boy do we love to hate his. We’ll wish Mr. Gleeson the best in his future endeavors, what ever they may be.
