Comedy Central has really lowered the standards of comic roasts. Here is one for the dad from Full House.

The Lowdown

This is a comedy roast. You know how these are and how they all depend on the comedians involved to be successful. In some instances you get wonderful memories of Betty White cursing like a sailor. In other instances you get Gilbert Gottfried. I’m going to review each roaster here and let you know who might be worth checking out and who you should avoid at all costs.

John Stamos starts the introduction by saying this is another show starring Bob Saget, which means it won’t be funny and will go on forever. Let’s hope this joke doesn’t turn out to be a reality. Stamos doesn’t churn out many funny lines in his roast, preferring to point out how unfunny Saget’s shows were and making a few mentions of Saget sexually preferring Dave Coulier to the Olson Twins, who he could only fantasize about. He ain’t a comic, so I could give him a break for not being funny.  –  TRAGEDY

Greg Giraldo:  I really think Giraldo is the highlight of Louis Black’s Root of All Evil. Let’s see if he is a step up from Stamos. He gets early points for stealing a joke I made right before I put the DVD in and referring to Stamos’ ex-wife as Rebecca Romign-O’Connell. I’m just ahead of my time. “You lost your wife to the fat kid from Stand by Me.” Brilliant! I thought Saget was going to fall out of his chair laughing. Giraldo was a very funny roaster but I have a problem with someone who reads his jokes. Then again, everyone seemed to. – COMEDY

Jon Lovitz – Lovitz’s entire roast was about how gay Bob Saget is. He sings two songs and then throws out a few “Bob Saget is so gay” jokes. The best part is him leaving fairy quickly. – TRAGEDY

Jeffrey Ross – Ross has made a career of being an insult comic. Ross spent much of his roast making pedophile jokes about Saget. He did hit a few good insults including “Although Bob Saget is not an insult comic, I am insulted to hear him referred to as a comic.” He finished with a great joke in dedication to George Carlin. Seven new words you can’t use on television: “And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget” – COMEDY

Lewis Black – Black’s roast was sent in by video. Black takes the time to rip apart Saget’s television shows. It was too short to matter. – TRAGEDY

Susie Essman – Essman had been the brunt of most of the comedian’s jokes early on. It was her chance to repay them. She didn’t. It was another short, unfunny roast. – TRAGEDY

Brian Posehn – I love this guy. Whether it is his television commercials or his appearances on Conan O’Brien, he always makes me laugh. His delivery is still ace, but his jokes failed. – TRAGEDY

Cloris Leachman – There is always one roaster you can’t wait to hear because “what the fuck are they doing there?” You know, Cloris Leachman – she was the whore grandmother on Beerfest. I wonder if we will get Betty White levels of funny here. The 82-year old started off with a bang. “I am not here to roast Bob Saget. I am here to fuck John Stamos.” Brilliant! “I don’t know who any of you people is. Maybe that’s because I watch TV, go to the movies and read the trades.” She is the highlight of the roast so far. “I’m an Academy Award winner, will someone please punch me in the face so I can see some stars.” She had the longest routine of the night and then finished with a big kiss for Stamos. – COMEDY GOLD

Norm Macdonald – I need a little back story here. I saw Norm Macdonald live when he came to my university in my freshman year. He was drunk as hell and I have been a fan ever since. Don’t ask why, because I don’t have a good answer. Once again, we have someone who reads his jokes off cards. Norm needed to get drunk before this because these were the worst jokes I have ever heard. This was sad, but I think his entire shtick was to tell bad jokes. When he started explaining his bad jokes, he almost won me over. Almost.  – TRAGEDY

Jeff Garlin – “John Stamos, you’ve been replaced on ER by Jerry O’Connell. It’s true.” I love the Jerry O’Connell jokes. He also pointed out the teleprompter but overall was boring. – TRAGEDY

Sarah Silverman – This is the second roaster that did a roast by video. Silverman was not funny here, which is unusual for her appearances in roasts. – TRAGEDY

Jim Norton – I have no idea who Jim Norton is. After a quick search on Wikipedia, I still have no idea who he is. “Life sucks. Pryor’s dead, Carlin’s dead, Saget’s healthy as a mule.” I don’t know who he is but he is funny. – COMEDY

Don Rickles – Another video roast and all I can say is what the hell happened to Don Rickles sense of humor? – TRAGEDY

Gilbert Gottfried – Dear God. I will admit, sometimes his over-the-top routine makes me laugh. He may not be the funniest guy in the world (far from it), but his insults were the hardest hitting. – COMEDY

Bob Saget – As with all roasts, it is time for the victim to get a chance to respond. Saget hit back quick and funny without notes, making him better than most of the roasters. He wasn’t too raunchy but rarely failed to deliver a funny insult. – COMEDY

When the funniest people in a roast are 82-year old Cloris Leachman and Gilbert Gottfried you know you have a subpar roast. However, Leachman brings the score up drastically. By my count we have 6 funny roasters and 9 failures. Out of the six funny people only Leachman was hilarious. No the best roast I have seen by a long shot.

The Package

Behind the Scenes (01:06) – This is a short interview with both roasters and friends before the event. Hey, Steph has gotten hot!

Bob Saget Interviews (02:27) – The short interview is just Saget making jokes and sexual innuendos. His jokes in the roast are much better than anything he says here.

After the Roast (05:26) – Interviews with people following the roast. Most of the roasters were in awe of how great Cloris Leachman was as the highlight of the show.

On the Blue Carpet (11:10) – There are random interviews with people. Questions include “what would you do if you had seven minutes with John Stamos.” It them moved into questions about the roast. It was pretty funny compared to the other features.

Comedy Central Quickies – Short clips from South Park, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and Reno 911!