“The Living Dead and the dying living are all the same. Cut from the same cloth. But disposing of dead people is a public service, whereas you’re in all sorts of trouble if you kill someone while they’re still alive.”
All Hallow’s Eve creeps ever closer, my diabolical darlings, can you feel the veil getting thinner? That’s about the only thing around here getting thinner, if you catch my caramel lovin’ drift. My excitement grows as more and more pumpkins appear on neighborhood porches, and clocks countdown to macabre movie marathons. I scour the earth for the best fright flicks, so I can deliver them here for you!
Dellamorte, Dellamore! Of Love, Of Death! That’s right ghouls and boys, it’s time for a little zombie love! No one loves the dead like Francesco Dellamorte, our main man in the this week’s Fiendish Flick, Cemetery Man (1994). Being a cemetery grounds keeper seems like it would be a quiet job, but not if you are guardian of the graves in the small Italian town of Buffalora, where the dead don’t seem to want to stay quite dead. Dellamorte (played by Rupert Everett) waits night after night for the newly dead to rise, so he can kill them again and again. Along with his simple sidekick Gnaghi, he does his best to keep the townsfolk safe. Well, maybe not his best. He can hardly help getting sidetracked by boredom and lust. Haunted by his idea of the perfect woman, mishaps happen here and there.
About as strange, comedic and surreal as a zombie flick can get, Cemetery Man will make you wonder, “WTF did I just watch?” in the best way possible. Michele Soavi’s adaptation of Tiziano Sclavi’s novel feels like a throwback to an earlier era of Italian horror. Like a comedic bastard child of Dario Argento, it’s filled with fantastic dialog and lines you just can’t keep from quoting. With a tagline like, “Zombies, sex & guns, oh my!” how can you go wrong? When the creepers are out creeping, I’ll be curled up cozy with my cocoa and a stack of zombie comedies, like Shaun of the Dead, Re-Animator, and this fun little flick. So my devilish dears, what do you plan to watch this Halloween? -Rubyby