WWE Monday Night Raw is here and WWE World Heavyweight Champion John Cena is out first. Cena instantly pimps the WWE Network so people can see the WWE Battleground event this weekend and the big fatale four way match. Just as soon as Cena mentions that he can lose the title without getting pinned, Roman Reigns comes out to the ring. Cena thanks Reigns for saving him last week and then says he understood Reigns message last week and started to ramble when Reigns told him to get to the damn point. He said that they can take out Randy Orton and Kane and then they can see if Reigns is as good as he thinks he is. Reigns said Cena is right and he wonders if Cena is as good as he thinks he is.
Dean Ambrose is on the Titan Tron and he said they aren’t dancing tonight and the three of them have a fight with Randy Orton, Kane and Triple H’s little bag boy Seth Rollins. Ambrose said he has a plan called “screw the authority” and asked them to stop arguing. At that time, Randy Orton, Kane and Seth Rollins find Ambrose and just beat the hell out of him. There was a funny moment at the end where Ambrose asked if that was all they got so Rollins hit a curb stomp for good measure.
Non-Title Match: Sheamus (U.S. Champion) vs. The Miz
The announcers mention that Sheamus will join the Intercontinental Championship battle royal. This could lead to the unification of the two WWE titles if Sheamus wins that match. The Miz comes out and said that he will win the battle royal Sunday on the WWE Network (they are really pushing getting new subscribers). It’s funny because The Miz had his face put on the Titan Tron during the match in part of his gimmick of considering his face the “money maker” of his career. The Miz actually won cleanly when Sheamus missed a Brogue Kick and then Miz rolled him up for the three.
Winner: The Miz (** ½)
Backstage, Seth Rollins and Randy Orton are laughing about what they did to Dean Ambrose while Kane watches on. Then Orton said that if they do that good on Sunday, he will leave as the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Then Kane corrects him and said that he could be the new champion. Triple H then showed up and told them to trust each other tonight and worry about the title match on Sunday. Then Stephanie McMahon comes in and said she loves how Triple H handles his business and starts to make out with him.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango
Fandango is on his own now as Layla and Summer Rae both attacked him last week and dumped him together. The match was just average but then Fandango’s music started up and Summer Rae and Layla was dancing on the announcer’s table. It distracted both Fandango and Ziggler, but Ziggler pulled out the win with the Fameasser. After the match, the women came in the ring and started dancing around a confused Ziggler. They both planted kisses on Ziggler and left with him as Fandango sat in the ring discouraged.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler (* ½)
Damien Sandow is backstage dressed like a Sonic carhop and is on skates. That is when Adam Rose and the Rosebuds show up. The two then fight over a Sonic chili cheese dog, which Adam Rose wins.
The Usos were on their way to the ring for a match, but The Wyatt Family attack them from behind and simply destroy the Usos. They will fight for the tag team titles on Sunday at Battleground.
Up next is a debate between Lana and Zeb Colter, who came to the ring with Rusev and Jack Swagger respectively. This is supposed to help “relieve tensions between the United States and Russia.” Holy hell, I never thought I would say this but Colter and Swagger have the fans eating out of their hands and might be the most popular superstars on the show so far tonight. Lana insults all of America and then Colter talks about serving in Vietnam and vowed to protect America from domestic and international terrorists. He asked Rusev if he accepted the match at Battleground or not. Rusev said this means war. Colter had the entire arena chant “We the People” and then Lana slapped Colter. Rusev attacked Swagger but in the end it was Swagger who locked in the ankle lock to stand tall.
In the locker room, John Cena is trying to pump up Roman Reigns who is barely paying attention. Cena tells Reigns to stand up and that he has to trust him tonight. Reigns responds that they took out Ambrose but tonight they will take out all three of their opponents, “Believe That.”
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam
This is only the third actual match and we are an hour and fifteen minutes into the show. The fans are chanting “ECW” at the start of the match. Del Rio pulled out an amazing move where Van Dam flew over the top for a body press, but Del Rio pulled out the ring apron from the top and RVD dropped between it and the ring where Del Rio hit a big kick. Very smooth move. Interestingly, all three of the matches so far tonight have been between men in the Intercontinental Championship battle royal at WWE Battleground. The end was nice too as RVD went for the frog splash, but Del Rio lifted his knees and then held RVD there to lock in the cross arm breaker for the win.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio (**)
“CM Punk: Best in the World” airs tomorrow night on the WWE Network.
Nikki Bella vs. Cameron and Alicia Fox
Before the tag team match can start, Stephanie McMahon comes out and said she feels sorry for Nikki since Brie Bella abandoned her own sister by marrying Daniel Bryan and quitting the WWE. McMahon told her that she only has her sister to blame for the handicap matches. Nikki Bella had no chance.
Winners: Cameron and Alicia Fox (*)
Sting will be a special unlockable character (actually two generations of Sting) on WWE 2K15, only for those who pre-order the game.
Backstage, Randy Orton tells Triple H that he is worried about Kane. Triple H then calls Kane a pawn – their pawn – and the plan is for Randy Orton to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Orton said that, if he is the plan then there is no reason for a Plan B.
There is now another strange backstage promo with Stardust and Goldust. They are getting stranger and stranger.
Cesaro vs. Big E
Cesaro is coming out without Paul Heyman for his match. Jerry “The King” Lawler said that he heard that Paul Heyman has been fired and JBL said he heard that Paul Heyman quit. Wait, what? All Jerry Lawler is talking about at the start of the match is Paul Heyman getting fired. There were photos of Paul Heyman arriving at WWE Monday Night Raw on Twitter, so there is no telling what is going on. The match ended when Ceasaro brought in a chair. Kofi Kingston (who was at ringside with Big E) grabbed the chair and saved Big E who then hit the Big Ending for the win. A good guess is that Heyman is missing to make the return of Brock Lesnar on Sunday more surprising.
Winner: Big E (* ½)
Chris Jericho is out next! He gives a decent promo where he talks about everything he has seen in his 15 year WWE career and everything he has been through (he fought John Cena in Cena’s first ever PPV match). Then he said he has never seen anything like Bray Wyatt, and has no idea why Wyatt has targeted him, but they will fight at WWE Battleground. The lights go out and Bray Wyatt is on the Titan Tron where he tells Jericho that Jericho promised to save everyone and he remembers that promise. The lights go back on and Wyatt is on the screen again. He asks if Jericho is scared and the lights go out again. When they come back on Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are in the ring. Jericho attacks and just as they are ready for Harper’s big boot, Jericho ducks under it and escapes. However, as he backs up the ramp, Bray Wyatt runs out and attacks him from behind. He hits Sister Abigail on the steel stage and then poses over Jericho. Wyatt isn’t getting cheered here like he has been in the past.
AJ Lee (Diva’s Champion) vs. Eva Marie
Paige is a special guest announcer at ringside. The entire match, Paige talked about respecting AJ Lee. Eva Marie looked decent in the match (which isn’t saying much because she usually looks horrible). After the match, AJ Lee jumped onto the announcer’s table and sat cross legged in front of JBL and she traded compliments with Paige until she said “ok, bye” and skipped off. It was weird, but strange.
Winner: AJ Lee (* ½)
Backstage, Kane approached Triple H and Stephanie McMahon and said he didn’t trust or like Randy Orton. Stephanie said it is business and there are a lot of people they don’t like. They told Kane to just do what he could to make sure the WWE title comes back to The Authority.
Bo Dallas vs. The Great Khali
Bo Dallas said that last week he beat El Torito, the biggest little man in the WWE with such a huge heart. He said that he had an open challenge and wanted his next opponent to have a big heart as well. Khali chopped Bo Dallas and then Bo chopped him back and yelled “Bad Giant.” That was hilarious. Khali threw Bo out of the ring and then followed. Bo Dallas hit the Bo-Dog on the floor and beat the count out back into the ring. After the match, Bo Dallas told Khali not to get down on himself and Khali chopped the taste out of Bo’s mouth.
Winner: Bo Dallas (**)
And, Paul Heyman was not fired. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are in the back and talking to Seth Rollins. He tells them that, if Orton and Kane can’t get the job done, he has a great Plan B and lifts up his briefcase before walking off. Then Paul Heyman walks in. Triple H asks where he has been and Heyman said that, if Triple H’s Plan B doesn’t work, they should talk to him about a great Plan C.
“Nature Boy” Ric Flair is here. Renee Young asks who will win on Sunday and Ric Flair said that the Man in the WWE is John Cena. That brings out Roman Reigns. He enters the ring and shakes Flair’s hand and then Flair leaves the ring to his music. As Flair is leaving, John Cena comes out and gives Flair the big gold world title belt before running to the ring, almost a way to show up Roman Reigns.
Roman Reigns and John Cena vs. Randy Orton, Kane and Seth Rollins
The match itself was a hard fought one but had a crappy ending where the referee disqualified Kane and Orton for double teaming Roman Reigns. I hate endings like that. But, there were a few big moments at the end of the match. First of all, it looked like Seth Rollins legitimately injured his knee. Roman Reigns backdropped him over the top rope and Rollins landed on the apron on his knee before bouncing out to the floor. The camera never went back to him but a doctor was seen running full speed around to ring to him. Then, Reigns hit the Superman punch onto Kane and Orton took out Reigns. Cena came in and fought off both. He tried to hit the Attitude Adjustment on Kane but Kane slipped off, Reigns went for the spear and Kane threw Cena into the spear. Kane took down Reigns and then Orton hit the RKO on Kane, his own partner, and then celebrated as his music played. However, he came down from the buckle and Roman Reigns speared him and stood tall and alone to end the show.
Winners: Roman Reigns and John Cena (***)