The episode opens with Stannis and Davos sailing to meet with the Iron Bank of Braavos. Stannis makes his case that he is the rightful King, not Tommen. The representatives of the bank do not bend to Stannis’ stories, and brush him off as not having the cold hard numbers on his side to back up his claims. Davos makes a passionate plea on his behalf, telling them that Stannis is the only reliable leader left in Westeros, but they brush them both off.
Stannis then goes to a bath house/brothel to find the pirate Salladhor Saan, and tells him that they sail at morning.
Yara Greyjoy (Theon’s sister),on board a ship manned with soldiers, reads a ransom note sent by Ramsey Snow, saying that they have until the next full moon to order all Iron born scum out of the north, or she will be sent more pieces of her Brother. They land and attack The Dreadfort to rescue Theon, finding him in a cage with the rest of the kenneled dogs. Theon not remembering who he is, fights his rescuers, the sound bringing attention to Ramsey who joins the battle. Before Yara can free him, Ramsay releases the dogs, forcing them to flee. Yara declares her Brother dead.
Ramsay tells Theon that he is getting a reward for staying loyal to him, a bath. Theon is scared and hesitant, but obeys. Ramsay washes his back, and asks, “Do you love me reek?” When Theon says of course, he then tells him that he needs his help to get his castle back from some bad men, by pretending to be someone he is not. By pretending to be Theon Greyjoy.
Daenerys sits upon a throne and acts as Queen, hearing the concerns of the local people. One of the peasants comes with a complaint that her dragons have decimated his flock of goats. She tells him that she will pay the value of his goats 3 times over. The Noble Hizdahr Zo Loraq then is announced as wanting an audience. He tells her that she crucified his Father. She tells him that it was justice for crucifying children. He responds by saying that his Father spoke out against the crucification of the children, but was overruled by the other Masters. She defends her actions, and he says what is done is done, that he has not come to dwell on that. He wishes that traditions of Meereen be upheld, in particular the right of proper burial. He wants the nobles to be decrucified, and be buried as nobles in the temple. She consents to let him bury his Father. After he is dealt with, Daenerys is told that there are over 200 more supplicants waiting for an audience with her. She sighs, now feeling the burden of actual rule, and tells them to send the next one in.
Tywin’s council and the rest of the Judges who will rule over Tyrion’s trial meet. They discuss Daenerys, and her army, Tywin has Varys send his ‘little birds’ to spy for him. Oberyn and Varys then have a conversation in private, Oberyn tries to entice him back to the brothel, but Varys refuses. He says he has no desire for boys or girls, a complete absence of physical desire all together.
Jaime and the King’s Guard take Tyrion in shackles from his cell to court, to stand trial for killing Joffrey. Tommen recuses himself from his Kingly duties, putting Tywin in charge. A series of nobles, and soldiers speak against Tyrion, who tries to defend the many taunts he threw Joffrey’s way, by attempting to point out Joffrey’s actions that prompted them. The Grand Meister testifies that Tyrion pilfered his stores of poisons, and brings out the necklace that Sansa wore at the crowning, pointing out the missing stone that contained the poison. Varys says that Tyrion may have become sympathetic to the Northern cause, causing consternation in the court. As he is stepping down, Tyrion asks if he can ask Varys one question, Tywin grants him the request. He asks Varys, “You once said that without me, the city would have faced certain defeat. You said, the histories would never mention me, but you would not forget. Have you forgotten, Lord Varys?” Varys muses a moment and replies, “Sadly my lord, I never forget a thing.” With that he bows and walks away. Tywin calls for the trial to be adjourned for now.
Jaime tries to convince Tywin that Tyrion is being railroaded by Cersei, and tries to plead for him to be spared. He promises to leave the King’s Guard and take his place in the role his Father wants him to fill, if Tywin spares his life. Tywin agrees, telling him that he plans to send Tyrion to The Wall to live out his sentence in the Night’s Watch. He orders Jaime to remove his white cloak immediately, take his place at Casterly Rock and marry a suitable woman, and father children named Lannister. Jaime gives him his word, and Tywin says he has his as well.
When the trial is called back to order, Jaime tells Tyrion to plea to be sent to The Knight’s Watch, and he will get his wish. He just has to keep his mouth shut. When Tywin enters, he calls one more witness, Shae. Shae takes the stand and lies. She says that she knows he is guilty, that he and Sansa planned it together. Sansa wanting revenge for her family, and Tyrion hating his own family was all too happy to help. She goes on to say that he told her that he stole the poisons. She weaves a ridiculous story of being forced to be his whore, his property, to be used when he was bored. Tyrion pleads with her, saying please don’t. She replies, “I’m a whore, remember?” Tyrion then says, “Father, I wish to confess…I wish to confess.” He turns to the jury, and says, “I saved you, I saved this city. All your worthless lives. I should have let Stannis kill you all.” The crowd roars with anger. He says that he is innocent of killing Joffrey, but guilty of a far more monstrous crime, guilty of being a dwarf. Tywin says he isn’t on trial for being a dwarf, but he replies, that yes he is. He has been on trial for that his entire life. He says, that he did not kill their precious Joffrey, but he wishes he had. Watching her vicious bastard die gave him more relief than a thousand lying whores. That he wishes he was the monster that they think he is, he wishes he had enough poison for the whole pack of them. He would gladly give his life to watch them all swallow it. Tyrion says he will not get justice there, so will let the Gods decide his fate. He demands a trial by combat. Anger takes over Cersei’s face, and sadness Jaime’s. Tywin looks at Tyrion with surprise. Fade to black.
That seemed like such a quick episode. I love Tyrion, and his complete inability to keep his mouth shut, even to save his own life. I find myself unable to say exactly what I think of Shae, and what should happen to her. Anything I say wouldn’t be published do the the just level of cursing it would require. The CG on Daenerys’ dragons is phenomenal, so glad that the Producers didn’t skimp on the quality there. I hate when poor CG pulls you out of the immersion of a story. For those that have read the books, I am sure you are eager to see what will likely come next week, assuming they don’t focus the episode somewhere else.