WWE Monday Night Raw Recap: 03.31.14

WWE Monday Night Raw
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The final WWE Monday Night Raw before Wrestlemania 30 opens with The Undertaker coming out to the ring. He said he does not think he is better than all the men he has beaten, but at Wrestlemania, he will go further than anyone else. He said there are three things that can’t be beat – death, taxes and the streak. He then said that Brock Lesnar will rest in peace and that brought out Brick Lesnar. Heyman cut a promo about Lesnar only needed one F5 and three seconds to end the streak. Lesnar then faked going to the ring three times, but then when Heyman distracted Undertaker, Lesnar ran in and hit the F5, leaving Undertaker lying in the middle of the ring.

Intercontinental champion Big E is out next for the opening match against Alberto Del Rio. That was a GREAT match and Del Rio actually pinned the IC champion. There were some big moments in the match, including Del Rio locking in the cross arm breaker, only for Big E to dead lift Del Rio and power bomb him. The end came when Del Rio went up to the top turnbuckle and Big E followed him up. Del Rio knocked him off and Big E fell with his legs trapped on the second buckles. Del Rio then did a double stomp onto Big E and then hit the concussion kick for the win.

That might have been Alberto Del Rio’s best match in a long time.

Luke Harper is whistling “You’ve Got the Whole World in Your Hands” and then Bray Wyatt starts a promo against John Cena. After the promo, Bray started singing the song and the audience sang along. This is just awesome.

Summer Rae vs. Natalya is next in a match caused by a scene on Total Divas. Vickie Guerrero is on commentary to talk about the AJ Lee title match at Wrestlemania 30, which includes 13 other Divas and will be a one-fall match. Natalya looked fantastic in this match but Summer Rae got the pin when she kicked Natalya in the head.

Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are out next. Stephanie says they are giving the fans a chance to say goodbye to the Yes Movement before Triple H destroys Daniel Bryan. Triple H said the audience don’t care because they have no loyalty anyway because they just want to be part of something and will move on when it is done. They then compared the Yes Movement to dancing to Fandango, and then they moved on. Triple H then said Fandango was a solid A-player and the fans threw him away. Stephanie then got them chanting Yes to prove it is not about Daniel Bryan because even she can get them to chant it, proving they just want to be part of the show. Triple H said he has the power not because he married well but because he was so dominant in the ring. He said he beat everyone put in front of him and then they showed a video where fans fell for Booker T, Scott Steiner, RVD, Jeff Hardy, Goldberg, Mick Foley, Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle, but Triple H beat them all and the fans moved on. Stephanie then called Daniel Bryan the fan’s next sacrificial lamb and chosen one because there is only one Triple H. He then said that all those men were Hall of Fame stars but he is The Game. Triple H then said he would leave Wrestlemania 30 as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion.

And that brought out Batista. He said he noticed he was not in the video because Triple H never beat him. He then called Triple H the brains of the group and his wife is the brawn. Then Randy Orton came out and started his boring talk about respecting The Authority. Her asked Triple H to reconsider and Triple H told Orton to stop ass kissing. Triple H said Orton needs to be The Viper again, because he doesn’t know if he can beat The Viper. Triple H then made Batista vs. Orton tonight a no disqualification match.

The Usos and Los Matadores took on The Real Americans and Rybaxel in the next match. All four teams are in a Fatal Four Way on Sunday at Wrestlemania 30 for the tag team titles. When the audience started chanting “We the People,” Jerry Lawler said that maybe that cheer proves Triple H’s point that the fans just want to feel like they are part and it has nothing to do with Daniel Bryan. Los Matadores pulled the old Killer Bee’s switcheroo and pinned Jack Swagger.

Fandango was out next with Summer Rae and he teamed with Damien Sandow to take on Goldust and Cody Rhodes. The match was about the same for both teams. Goldust pinned Damien Sandow with the Curtain Call.

A Shield promo was next. They said that Kane has disrespected them and they would make them pay.

The Wyatt Family came out next. Bray Wyatt battled R-Truth, who had Xavier Woods at ringside with him. R-Truth got in some offense, but Bray Wyatt won clean. After the match, Xavier Woods came in to check on R-Truth only to get destroyed by The Wyatt Family. After that, they celebrated and a fourth man showed up, wearing the goat mask and blue work clothes. It was John Cena who cleared the ring.

The next match saw AJ Lee take on Naomi in a Lumber Jills match. Naomi ended up outside the ring and they all ignored her. AJ went out to get her and the Lumber Jills attacked her. Later in the match, AJ Lee got thrown out of the ring and Tamina tried to protect her but she was attacked and beat up while they threw AJ back in to get beat.

John Cena was interviewed backstage.

The fans got to vote on who Kane would fight tonight and Roman Reigns won the fan vote over his Shield partners. Reigns came out alone. Corporate Kane also came out alone. Kane dominated the start of the match, but when he went for the chokeslam, Reigns pulled his hand off his throat and then dominated the rest of the match. Just as Reigns was preparing for the spear, the New Age Outlaws walked out. Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins attacked them and then they went into the ring and all three started kicking the crap out of Kane. When they tried for a triple powerbomb, the Outlaws saved Kane by pulling him out. Kane won by DQ.

Rowdy Roddy Piper is out next with a new Piper’s Pit. He talked about being in the main event of the first Wrestlemania and he said that Andre the Giant had a huge role in the success of that Wrestlemania. He then started talking about the battle royal on Sunday. When Piper tried to talk about who his favorite was, The Miz came out. Miz pointed out that he won the main event of Wrestlemania, unlike Roddy Piper and Andre the Giant. Sheamus interrupted Miz and said that he is not fit to hold Roddy’s kilt.

Titus O’Neill was out next. Then Dolph Ziggler came out and Piper was just losing his cool because he is trying to talk. Piper pokes Miz in the eyes and pushes him into Sheamus and all four men start fighting. Piper leaves and more of the battle royal guys run in. Rey Mysterio comes down with his actual music. Big Show’s music started and he came down. Rey begged off Big Show and Big Show turned to leave. Rey then charged and hit the 619 on Big Show but then Show chunked him from the ring and Piper declared Big Show the favorite to win.

Batista vs. Randy Orton in a no disqualification match is the main event and then Triple H and Stephanie McMahon came down to do commentary. It was clear during the match that the reason this match is taking place is that Triple H is trying to get them to hurt each other before Wrestlemania 30 to give him the advantage. He is The Game.

However, Daniel Bryan ran in and jumped over the rails from the audience and beat the holy hell out of Triple H. Randy Orton came to the rescue, but Batista speared Orton and then Bryan hit Batista with the high knee. Bryan then dived onto Triple H again and then beat him with a kendo stick until Triple H ran for his life. Daniel Bryan stood triumphant after the match.

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About the Author

Shawn S. Lealos
Shawn is a film critic with over 25 years of experience in print and online media. He is a member of the Oklahoma Film Critics Circle and loves everything from critically acclaimed movies to B-level action flicks.
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