This week we start off with a montage of the state of things; Stevie is getting his new Kenny is holed up in a hotel, banging hookers & doing coke, while April takes the kids to see Santa, and seemingly misses Kenny. He’s clearly enjoying his fame on Sports Sesh, without realizing that he’s basically become Guy Young.
Kenny & Stevie are on set at Sports Sesh, doing a healthy amount of cocaine, while Stevie laments about not having any money to buy presents for his children. Kenny quickly ditches his mild-mannered disguise, and becomes the hero to all, Captain Obvious, telling Stevie he shouldn’t have spent all the money on his chin & Maria’s boobs. After their coke-break, they hold a team meeting where Kenny lets everyone know that he’s the new leader, and that they’re going very big this year for the Christmas show, much to the chagrin of everyone else.
April & Kenny meet with their lawyers to discuss the divorce. Kenny shows up looking like Johnny Cash with SARS, and lets April know that he’s taken all the money in the joint accounts. She asks to speak to him privately, and he says this will all go away if he can just come back home. She says she wants out of all of this, and doesn’t understand why Kenny wants back, as he was miserable. He lets her know that it’s war, and that he’s going to buy his kid’s affection, and make them love him far more than her.
Kenny & Stevie are hanging out an ice-skating rink, where Kenny tells him of his plan to buy everything April already bought, since he’s getting the kids 2 days before Christmas. Stevie again brings up the fact he’s broke, and asks to read Kenny’s screenplay, since he’ll have freetime come Christmas morning. Kenny shoots him down, telling him that Tom Cruise doesn’t just let any Tom, Dick, or Jay Leno read his work.
At the hotel, Kenny’s brother and his wife are waiting for him, and ask KP to spend the holidays with them. Kenny shoots them down, saying everything is going great.
Back on the set of Sports Sesh, Kenny is clearly using the Christmas Special to help fight his feelings of loneliness, isolation, and the fact he screwed up, as the entire program is about him. Anyone who makes the slightest mistake is chewed out, and his two remaining co-hosts even quit. Stevie promptly demands they return their Employee Parking Passes.
Kenny has the kids come the morning of the 23rd, and he adorns them with tiaras, and Rolex’s, while making them say they love him more into the camera that a Little Person is holding. Despite the spendy gifts, the children are despondent over the loss of Dakota, and say that’s all they want for Christmas. Kenny takes them back home, and again talks with April about coming home, but she still isn’t having it. She hands him a present that she got for him before he takes off.
At the Taters & Tits kiosk, Kenny decides to close it down because he feels it’s a waste of money. Stevie begs him to keep it open, as it’s all he has left, but Kenny says no. Stevie then explodes, telling Kenny that he said their lives would get better, but they’ve just gotten worse. He tells him that he use to think Kenny was cool, a rockstar, but now he sees him for what he is, a fool. He then takes Maria and storms off.
Kenny beings filming the Christmas episode solo, and because he spent the better part of his free-time drinking, he’s in a bit of a mood. He quickly let’s the audience know that Christmas can perform oral sex on him, and that he doesn’t need the holiday. He quickly trashes the set, and even causes a large wall to fall on someone. On that note, he high-tails it out of there.
Back at home, Kenny continues drinking, and opens up April’s gift; an ornament with a baseball player on it. Just then, Maria shows up and says Stevie is missing. When they track him down, they find him in a hotel room with a gun to his head. He says he’s a failure. That he can’t provide for his family, or do anything else. Maria says that the family doesn’t care about the presents, that Stevie is all they want. They manage to talk him down and see the error of his ways, but he accidentally shoots his chin off in the process. Kenny apologies to Stevie while Maria places his chin back on him.
KP shows up at his brother’s house, and does a bit of caroling with them, despite the fact he’s covered in blood, and wearing a black Santa suit. While getting ready for bed, Kenny tells his brother how lucky he is that his family loves him for him, and doesn’t expect anything. We see now that it seems Kenny wanted all of this because he thought it’s what his family wanted, that he thought they’d love & respect him more if he were a big shot. Now that he’s patched things up with his brother, he’s renewed with Christmas spirit and sets out to make things right. He gets Stevie’s family a ton of presents, including his screenplay for Stevie to read. He tracks down Dakota in the woods, and returns him home, chained up in the front yard with a big red bow. Watching his family rejoice from afar with his opera glasses. And with that, we’re out.
This was a damn good Christmas episode that I actually found touching. I’d always assumed Kenny wanted to be a big-wig again because of his own insecurities, only to find out it’s because he thought his family didn’t respect him. It’s writing like this that makes Eastbound & Down one of the greatest comedies of ever, and the character of Kenny Powers the legend he believes himself to be. One more episode to go. See you guys next week.by